The Day that Wasn’t

June 19

I have known for some time that this day would not be what it was to be - kids writing their last exams at school while Serge and I are up before dawn scrambling to ensure life is sorted to hit an airport about 5pm for our home assignment in Canada. 

Today is part of my grieving and loss processing. 

There will be no Canada this year as a family. It will be the first time we haven’t been back every two years. Not sure what to make of it. I am most grateful that my immediate family came out late last year. What a gift that was... and it lessens this loss for sure but... 

Letting go is hard. 

I thought I had this sorted but alas I don’t as I sit here in tears writing this. Serge and I do live life with a healthy sense of ‘no control’ and believe wholeheartedly that Gods plans are best... and that we live in a broken world... but sometimes what is asked is on the verge of seemingly too much. Sigh

Not sure I like the indefinite of not seeing family and friends... gosh that's a hard thought. Not just for us to go to Canada but for visitors / teams to come here. 

What am I letting go of... 

The longest time we would have had in Canada to date - 9 full weeks! 

Hugging the necks of all my family and having crazy fun times 

Lovely long chats with dear friends 

An epic trip to Western Canada to see friends, supporters and sights

Eating a lot of ice cream 

BBQs on decks

Long summer nights

Going for peaceful walks where people don’t stare at me

Wild flowers beside the road 

Sweet corn - we can’t eat enough of it 

Strawberries, Black Cherries, Peaches, Raspberries, plums... eat some, or a lot, for me!

CHEESE - all the kinds!! 

Driving the back roads to see all everyday life

Flipping through sale flyers 

Drive thrus

Going shopping and finding a list of stuff in ONE store - and they actually have it all! 

Time at the lake - fishing, tubing, coffee in the dock 

Making so many family memories 

Not to mention we don’t know the next time we can buy 

maple syrup

Nuts- walnuts, pecans, almonds

Advil cold and sinus (Serge and I both suffer from sinus headaches), 

underwear, clothes, shoes

Christmas / birthday presents

books

Those few home decor pieces from HomeSense or The Mercantile

Duct tape 

Ziplock bags 

Chocolate chips 

Craisins 
Cream of tartar 
Strawberry jello 
Dry mustard 
Black pepper 
Frying pans 
Staples for the staple gun

And whatever other treats for the corners of the suitcases to be rationed for the next two years. 

I know this is all stuff... and we can survive without it all (but not the Advil - ARG!). 

This is my June 19, 2020. 

I need to get myself sorted. 

Beni is about done his online class. Serge left early this morning to drive a few hours north to say goodbye to a dying uncle and Isabella went with him to visit a friend there. It will the first time she’s seeing a friend since early March. I want to see if Beni can see a friend this weekend too. And my coffee is getting cold. 

I know this... God is good, faithful, patient and gracious. I trust in all that today through my sadness and tears. 

Tomorrow is another day and Gods mercies will be new again.

Day of the African Child

June 16

On this day in 1976, nearly ten thousand black students from Soweto, South Africa, marched the streets to protest the poor quality of their education. Hundreds of these innocent students were shot by security forces. The two week protest that followed was called the Soweto Uprising and many lost their lives or were badly injured.

Since 1991, the Day of the African Child, has been celebrated on June 16 to commemorate those killed during the Soweto Uprising in South Africa and to recognize the courage of the students who marched for their right to an education.

For me … this day of the African Child is an opportunity to raise awareness for the ongoing need to improve the education of children living in Rwanda.

Children represent a large percentage of the Rwandan population, with 42.9% of the population between ages 0 and 14 and the median age of 18.8.

In addition, children make up 83.5 percent of Rwanda’s rural population, often living in very vulnerable circumstances.

Serge and I are very committed to education in Rwanda. Since 2004, we have supported education in all shapes and sizes:

Teaching street kids to hold a pencil to form letters to write their name for the first time

Building a library in the Kiziba Refugee Camp and stocking it with thousands of books and staff to support teachers, students, pastors, English classes in the camp

Giving stipends to refugee teachers to teach students in the camp.

Tutoring students

Computer classes

Paying school fees for many students along with school supplies, uniforms, transport, pocket money - primary, secondary and university levels

Mentoring high school students

Holiday programs to learn the Bible, develop character and have some fun

Sunday school learning - belonging to a community

Serge always says ... 'To BREAK cycles of poverty, we MUST educate.'

Education is knowledge.

Education brings power.

Education gives opportunities.

Education stabilizes families.
Education changes a country.

So on this day... as I reflect on all the 'educational activities' which we are involved with here in Rwanda ... I'm blessed and humbled. 

I know without a doubt that lives are being changed forever... this country is being changed forever.

25 Years and Counting

Yesterday marked 25 years that I walked into the office of International Teams Canada and started my journey of life in full time ministry. 

To be honest, I really can't remember much about that day specifically. 

What I do remember, is knowing without a doubt that God had called me to serve through International Teams Canada as the Director of Short-term Mission. 

I knew from a young age that I was called to ministry but always thought I would be camp director or a youth pastor. Never once did I think I would a 'missionary' ... raising financial support ... and who knew I'd end up in Rwanda. Only God. 

When International Teams called me, I knew without a doubt, this was my next life 'phase'. 

From a young child, I had listened to missionary letters being read from the front of the church and their reports when they returned for home assignment but never once did I think that I would be one. 

But God called, I knew and I obeyed. 

I took God at His word when He says that he will supply all our needs. 

I remember saying to Him ... I know that you've called me, so you better show up!

I had no idea what 'showing up' would look like, but gosh it's been an incredible journey of faith and crazy blessing time and time again - always in His timing, not mine and through incredible people who have been been obedient to share what God has given them with me.

MANY times over the years I have reclaimed that same faith to get me through whatever the seeming insurmountable challenge seemed to be looming in front of me. There have been many times I've wondered when God would show up ... but he always has. 

And so in the things that I am still waiting for ... I wait - as patiently as I can. 

I still go back to read the verses I was commissioned with, from Woodside Bible Fellowship 

Psalm 20:1-5

In times of trouble, may the Lord answer your cry. May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm.

May he send you help from his sanctuary and strengthen you from Jerusalem.

May he remember all your gifts and look favourably on your burnt offerings.

May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.

May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the Lord answer all your prayers.

I have learned so much in 25 years about myself, God, people and being like Jesus. 

But today, I celebrate the start of my 26th year in full time ministry and all that God has ahead of me. 

World Refugee Day

Today my mind goes back to the first time I connected with refugees. I was visiting some fellow International Team Missionaries in Straubing, Germany and was getting ready to host a short-term team along side them. 

What I remember so vividly to this day is how passionate and how 'doing life' alongside refugees was so 'natural'. I have SO many memories from my time there. 

(Thank you Gord, Sharon, Sarah, Richard)

As the years passed and I travelled more around the world connecting with various long term teams ministering alongside and to refugees, the term 'Refugee Highway' surfaced.

It made SO much sense. 

The essence ... People move. You can draw lines around the globe from where people are displaced or fleeing from persecution, violence, war, etc and see where they go - from this location to this location to this location. It's a fluid 'highway'. Locations change.

The Dream... Wouldn't it be amazing to have people who love Jesus at all the 'off ramps' and along the 'highway'?

I love that dream ... and still do.

I've been in Rwanda for 14 years now and have worked alongside the International Teams ministry in the Kiziba Refugee Camp for that entire length of time. We are well aware that we are their first 'off ramp' location. 

How do we live Jesus to each and every one that crosses our path that they want to know and seek Him as the Way, the Truth and the Life?

Today, IAFR - International Association for Refugees - offered a map to help explain the essence and the dream . The dream lives on in and through many people around the globe.

You can do to download your own map at the
IAFR Toolbox

The following is a snippet from the the March 2018 UNHCR - United Nations High Commission for Refugees - Operational Report for Rwanda. 

You can check out the whole thing here if you're interested in details and what is happening on the ground with refugees in Rwanda.

People are moving on the 'highway' EVERY. SINGLE. DAY

For all kinds of reasons that most of us who live in the west have no idea about.

Don't turn off the TV or turn a blind eye when you see or hear about people... made in the image of God, who are fleeing for their life.

Try to put yourself in their shoes and seek to understand and then seek God what your response might be.

Quote from the UNHCR 

We are now witnessing the highest levels of displacement on record. 

An unprecedented 68.5 million people around the world have been forced from home. 

Among them are nearly 25.4 million refugees, over half of whom are under the age of 18. 

There are also an estimated 19 million stateless people who have been denied a nationality and access to basic rights such as education, healthcare, employment and freedom of movement. 

In a world where nearly 1 person is forcibly displaced every two seconds as a result of conflict or persecution... 

Loss in the J.Lynn's family...

Teddy and Grace

Last night we were watching Dolphin Tale (again!) when the phone rang. 

It was Teddy, our manager for J.Lynn's - beside herself sobbing on the other end of the phone. 

My mind raced with what tragic news she was going to tell me. 

Grace had died giving birth to her first child. 

My heart broke. 

Grace Uwimana had worked for us for a while at J.Lynn's. 

She then left us to finish her degree, move to Uganda and to get married. She married one year ago in January. 

I had been SO blessed that she had come by the shop to visit us when she was back in Rwanda. She was happy and adjusting to married life. 

She had dreams of owning her own business and I know that J.Lynn's had given her exposure and confidence in  her seeking this desire.

Grace, this world will miss your beautiful smile and easy going personality. 

She leaves behind her husband and baby. 

As I laid in bed this morning awake trying to process life, 

I commented to Serge that I didn't even want to know how she died as I'm 95% sure that what she died from was preventable. 

Oh the things that make ones mind go a bit crazy. 

Another day asking God for wisdom as the women at J.Lynn's mourn this loss. 

Question of The Evening

'Mom, how do you do a fundraiser?'

We had come home visiting someone and were just relaxing a bit before bedtime. 

I wondered where her mind was going. 

I told her that fundraising looks different for different things. 

'What would you want to fundraise for?' 

'Well mom, I was thinking of doing a lemonade stand and maybe selling some cookies at school. I think that we can raise money for food for the refugees at Kiziba.' 

My heart about got into my throat and I fought my tears back as she laid out her thoughts. 

They could sell lemonade and cookies - Beni suggested on Friday afternoons when other schools come to play sports and parents come too (Good thinking Beni!) 

As the head Primary Girl could they ask each child to bring an amount of money - maybe 500 rwf ($.060 USD)? 

They could do the fundraising for the month of March 

She would write down her plan and present it to the Primary Principal. 

Her concern was, 'Would the money be enough to get all the people food in the camp?' 

'No, honey it's not. But Dad and I can look for those who need it most and make sure they get the money or the food - whichever is easiest and most useful for them.' 

There are 17,251 refugees in Kiziba as of December 2017.

You see.... Isabella and Beni both know that the last week in the Kiziba Refugee Camp has not been good. 

They know that people have fled for their lives. 

They know that people have been killed. 

They know that their Great Auntie and cousin as safe in Kigali while other family are still in the camp, hiding in their homes. 

They know that the refugees do not have enough food and that the UNHCR / WFP cut their ration money by 25% last month ($0.20 / day).

They know that the WFP (World Food Program) may need to cut the ration amount yet again. 

On the way home, I had read the following out loud... 

(part of an article ... )

'... UNHCR is advocating with donors to address the gaps in humanitarian funding and urgent needs of refugees. To date, UNHCR's 2018 appeal for $98.8 million USD to support refugees in Rwanda is only 2 per cent funded. 

WFP warns about potential larger ration cuts if monthly requirements of $2.5 million are not met...'

This was her tipping point. Hearing this has demanded action from her.

I know she had her 'spiel' written to take to her principal today at school...not sure when she did that!

I look forward to seeing what God has in store for all of this ... 

Grace ...

Well.... Grace did NOT have diabetes. 

She did NOT have kidney failure and she did NOT have low blood pressure. 

Grace DID have typhoid AND a urinary track infection AND amoebas.

One of these is enough to deal with let alone all three at once!

No wonder she looked like she was about to die.

It has taken her a few weeks to regain her strength and rid herself of everything but as you can see... she's smiling, happy and enjoying life again. 

More than once during this time Serge and I would look at each other and say...
'This is why we do what we do.' 

If we were not in Grace's life ... there is a high probability that she would have died. 

The sad thing... Grace and her husband spent almost double going to the private 'natural' clinic than we did taking her to a proper clinic. AND they went into debt doing it.  Double ARG for us!!

Oh the life lessons and the unknown journeys we take each day. 

Today's Interruption

So along time ago, when I was still working in the office of International Teams Canada, I had a conversation with a teammate about life interruptions. We can set our day, plan it out... and then along come the 'interruptions'.

My daily 'interruptions' are people...most of the time. Sometimes it's just life in a developing country (always underestimating how much time something takes) ... but mostly people. People whom God has created - people who cross my path.

Today is no different.

Today was going to be the last blitz of getting all things sorted for the new shop. My day started with an all shop team meeting... a cake customer... then dear Grace showed up.

Grace is one of our women at J.Lynn's / Komeza. She is married and has one child and is usually full of shy smiles and works hard. 

The last 2.5 months have been a struggle for her - only working half the time. Today she finally came to the shop...

... barely able to stand up, shaking like a leaf, headache, stomach pain... it makes me so sad to see how bad she looks.

She told a familiar tale of using her health card to go to the local clinic. They check for the standard malaria but it's negative. They give her ibruprophen and amoxacillan. She does not get better so goes back - nothing they can do for her. So she and her husband decide to go to a private clinic. It's a 'natural' clinic. From the paperwork with all its formalities and stamps it looks legit... but then she hauls 4 bottles and some powder stuff out of her bag.... they told her she has diabetes, kidney failure, low blood pressure...

The 'medicine'...

I'm sitting at a clinic with her - Waiting for lab results.

Its my interruption for the day.

I have no idea how long I will get here but I'm determined to get to the bottom of this. She is wife, mom and our employee and deserves whatever we can sort for her. None of this... thats just the way it is...

Yes there is SO much stuff and SO many things to do.... but I've learned from that conversation so long ago... God knows it all and He will sort it all too! (Oh to have faith today... again!)

(Shout out to the Kigali Seven Day Adventist clinic and Dr. Tommy and all their staff! Again... going above and beyond!)

March 22: World Water Day

Quote from the UN Water Day website

'Water is the essential building block of life. But it is more than just essential to quench thirst or protect health; water is vital for creating jobs and supporting economic, social, and human development.

Today, there are over 663 million people living without a safe water supply close to home, spending countless hours queuing or trekking to distant sources, and coping with the health impacts of using contaminated water.

2017 Theme: Why Wastewater?'

Read the rest of the article on UN Water Day to gain a quick insight into the water situation in the world.

I am once again challenged about how I use water... and I live in a country where at any given time I need to haul jerry cans of it because we're out. Praying that I will be a better steward from this day forward.

This is Adele. She is one of our Komeza Women who works full-time at J.Lynn's.

Most every day she leaves the shop carrying a 3L bottle of filtered water on her head.

One could say she's stealing water... and that would be true.

But you know what? I don't care.

I know to stay as healthy as she can, she needs that water.

Adele is one of our women who is HIV. She is healthy and strong most of the time and her blood counts are good. When she is not strong, I know that she is not eating well enough or drinking enough.

Hence, I don't care of Adele 'steals' our clean water. She needs it.

She is also carrying home a bag of empty plastic water bottles after a busy day at the shop.

She will resell them for a small profit.

Recycling!

Proud RwandaMomma Moment...

This term of school, I've been picking up Democracy as he's headed out to school and I'm on my way to J.Lynn's after dropping the kids at school in the morning. 

(Democracy is a former street kid in Kigali, we've been journeying life alongside him for over 10 years. He is currently in his 2nd year of auto mechanics. We also got him an 'apprenticeship' - working for free for experience - alongside a Canadian guy here who started a garage.)

This morning I picked him up on the way and he was having serious conversation on his phone. I immediately understood that he was explaining in detail, to a customer, what repairs needed to happen to their vehicle. 

He was on his way to school to write an exam BUT he sorted a customer first about their vehicle. 

He told me that other guys would fix it at the shop while he was writing the exam. 

My proud moment... he knew what was wrong, knew how to sort the customer and the customer trusted his knowledge and experience...

AND he was headed into some mechanical exam (yeah, I know... I really don't know...)

He is already a good mechanic ... and keeps getting better as the days go by. (He's the first one Serge calls now...)

May he become famous in Kigali as the honest and knowledgeable go to mechanic guy. 

That's my prayer!

I have no doubt Democracy will continue to make me proud. 

Yes He knows more than checking the oil... !!

Can We Create Hope?

This is the question that Serge just asked me. 

No we can't BUT I believe we can do everything in our power to create an environment of hope around a person. We can structure, model, encourage, talk, and be Jesus in every way possible BUT it is still the persons choice if they choose hope. 

I just found out this morning that one of my women at J.Lynn's / Komeza did not choose hope yesterday.  

Big long story and I'm sure that I don't know it all but after hours of talking to her on Saturday along with two of my managers, sending one of my girls to check on her written prescription at 4 different pharmacies to see if what was being prescribed was in fact for what she says was ailing her ... she made the choice NOT to show up at the shop yesterday morning at 7:30 for transport money to go to a proper doctor and get throughly checked for whatever is causing her latest ailments. 

She is a single mom of two children. 

She is HIV positive. 

She struggles to stay healthy. 

I made the choice on Saturday that we were not going to pay the $37 USD for this fake prescription but to spend that money at a real doctor and clinic and know for sure what is causing her latest sickness.

I may never know that reason why she didn't show up - but I have my suspicions. They involve being influenced by those around her and being used by a clinic which is preying on the poor. 

We have always told our women that if they go to the local clinic and they feel like they are not treated well, they are to come and tell us about it and we advocate for them. This often involves paying from our pocket the fees to see a private doctor and buy the proper medicine. BUT then we know that their chances to get better are much higher AND they will continue to be a good mom, a good wife and show up to work. 

She told us that she had been to the local clinic twice with no results ... then she borrowed money to go to this private clinic which writes prescriptions which can only be filled at their pharmacy and nowhere else in the country.  

Tomorrow I will be at the shop and we'll see where she is at health wise and I will continue to wrestle with how to continue to create an environment that enables her to choose hope and life. God help us find a way. 

Abigail and Refugees

My heart has been greatly saddened and moved many times over in the last week as the lives of refugees has become front and central in the news and around our dinner table discussions. 

Last Wednesday, I was reading on my FB feed and came across the following from Abigail, an American 19 year old.

Refugees are PEOPLE. I think that is something incredibly important to remember right now. If you have an issue with Donald Trump's executive order to indefinitely block Syrian refugees as well as temporary halt all other refugees, please call your representatives. I know I will be calling mine. 

Link to NY Times Articles

Abigail is a former short-term team member to Rwanda and I know that the experience here in Rwanda impacted her greatly and has helped shape who she continues to become. 

I was blessed by her passion - by her determination, to do what she can do to make this world a better place. I wrote her and told her so and asked for her to give me a little rundown as to what got me to where she is now ... and where she's headed. 

Abigail with refugee children in IL

So I started to get involved with the refugee community when I entered high school. Our church had a program where refugees could be tutored in English while their kids were watched. I, with my youth group, took over the task of watching the kids. This involved helping with homework, snacks and games. I did this all throughout high school....

My perspective on refugees really changed through after our trip to Rwanda. It gave me a real view of what refugees daily life consists of. I was horrified that some people could live their entire life without knowing what goes on in a refugee camp, how small their living conditions are and food rations.

I knew from then on that I wanted to get involved with refugees in my future career. 

So currently I am at the University of Dayton studying political science with a minor in international relations. Last semester I worked as a fellow for the Hillary Clinton campaign. 

I also just accepted a scholarship for a 9 week program in Malawi this summer to do research with a Malawi student. i will be researching the impact of direct support of government institutions (schools, hospitals, etc.) in the Chilumba catchment area. So pretty much looking at the service delivery of government and compare that to private and NGO delivery in a number of areas (health, education, agriculture support, etc.) I leave mid May and am so excited to go back to Africa! Currently I have my eyes set on working for the State Department or the UN, but I have a few more years to figure that out so who knows. 

As you can see, just interacting with refugees has really shaped my life.

And that right there, is why we host short - term teams!

We always pray that their time spent with us with change how they think, how they view the world, how they interact with people and what they do with their life.  

Looking forward to seeing where Abigail's journey continues!

Abigail in Kiziba Refugee Camp