The Day that Wasn’t

June 19

I have known for some time that this day would not be what it was to be - kids writing their last exams at school while Serge and I are up before dawn scrambling to ensure life is sorted to hit an airport about 5pm for our home assignment in Canada. 

Today is part of my grieving and loss processing. 

There will be no Canada this year as a family. It will be the first time we haven’t been back every two years. Not sure what to make of it. I am most grateful that my immediate family came out late last year. What a gift that was... and it lessens this loss for sure but... 

Letting go is hard. 

I thought I had this sorted but alas I don’t as I sit here in tears writing this. Serge and I do live life with a healthy sense of ‘no control’ and believe wholeheartedly that Gods plans are best... and that we live in a broken world... but sometimes what is asked is on the verge of seemingly too much. Sigh

Not sure I like the indefinite of not seeing family and friends... gosh that's a hard thought. Not just for us to go to Canada but for visitors / teams to come here. 

What am I letting go of... 

The longest time we would have had in Canada to date - 9 full weeks! 

Hugging the necks of all my family and having crazy fun times 

Lovely long chats with dear friends 

An epic trip to Western Canada to see friends, supporters and sights

Eating a lot of ice cream 

BBQs on decks

Long summer nights

Going for peaceful walks where people don’t stare at me

Wild flowers beside the road 

Sweet corn - we can’t eat enough of it 

Strawberries, Black Cherries, Peaches, Raspberries, plums... eat some, or a lot, for me!

CHEESE - all the kinds!! 

Driving the back roads to see all everyday life

Flipping through sale flyers 

Drive thrus

Going shopping and finding a list of stuff in ONE store - and they actually have it all! 

Time at the lake - fishing, tubing, coffee in the dock 

Making so many family memories 

Not to mention we don’t know the next time we can buy 

maple syrup

Nuts- walnuts, pecans, almonds

Advil cold and sinus (Serge and I both suffer from sinus headaches), 

underwear, clothes, shoes

Christmas / birthday presents

books

Those few home decor pieces from HomeSense or The Mercantile

Duct tape 

Ziplock bags 

Chocolate chips 

Craisins 
Cream of tartar 
Strawberry jello 
Dry mustard 
Black pepper 
Frying pans 
Staples for the staple gun

And whatever other treats for the corners of the suitcases to be rationed for the next two years. 

I know this is all stuff... and we can survive without it all (but not the Advil - ARG!). 

This is my June 19, 2020. 

I need to get myself sorted. 

Beni is about done his online class. Serge left early this morning to drive a few hours north to say goodbye to a dying uncle and Isabella went with him to visit a friend there. It will the first time she’s seeing a friend since early March. I want to see if Beni can see a friend this weekend too. And my coffee is getting cold. 

I know this... God is good, faithful, patient and gracious. I trust in all that today through my sadness and tears. 

Tomorrow is another day and Gods mercies will be new again.

When your 12 year old reminds you...

So this morning ... last day of school here ... Isabella is running at the last minute to gather up some donations for a school drive - clothes and shoes for a children's home here. 

I see her pass with two dresses that she has grown out of and a few pairs of shoes. 

The dresses ... beautiful, party dresses that she has worn for Christmas and multiple weddings - all shiny and sparkly and fun. 

I was about to open my mouth and say that maybe she had some other clothes that she would like to give away. That maybe those dresses could be given to some younger cousins. 

But I thank God I caught myself! Seriously!! 

She had picked the most beautiful things to give to the most vulnerable. 

Not just the nice dresses but the most beautiful ones. 

I couldn't help but smile as I thought of two young girls being able to twirl in sparkle and lace. 

I was also deeply reminded to always give the best. 

May the receivers of these dress know they are wonderfully made, loved by God and worthy. 

Isabella I love you!

Question of The Evening

'Mom, how do you do a fundraiser?'

We had come home visiting someone and were just relaxing a bit before bedtime. 

I wondered where her mind was going. 

I told her that fundraising looks different for different things. 

'What would you want to fundraise for?' 

'Well mom, I was thinking of doing a lemonade stand and maybe selling some cookies at school. I think that we can raise money for food for the refugees at Kiziba.' 

My heart about got into my throat and I fought my tears back as she laid out her thoughts. 

They could sell lemonade and cookies - Beni suggested on Friday afternoons when other schools come to play sports and parents come too (Good thinking Beni!) 

As the head Primary Girl could they ask each child to bring an amount of money - maybe 500 rwf ($.060 USD)? 

They could do the fundraising for the month of March 

She would write down her plan and present it to the Primary Principal. 

Her concern was, 'Would the money be enough to get all the people food in the camp?' 

'No, honey it's not. But Dad and I can look for those who need it most and make sure they get the money or the food - whichever is easiest and most useful for them.' 

There are 17,251 refugees in Kiziba as of December 2017.

You see.... Isabella and Beni both know that the last week in the Kiziba Refugee Camp has not been good. 

They know that people have fled for their lives. 

They know that people have been killed. 

They know that their Great Auntie and cousin as safe in Kigali while other family are still in the camp, hiding in their homes. 

They know that the refugees do not have enough food and that the UNHCR / WFP cut their ration money by 25% last month ($0.20 / day).

They know that the WFP (World Food Program) may need to cut the ration amount yet again. 

On the way home, I had read the following out loud... 

(part of an article ... )

'... UNHCR is advocating with donors to address the gaps in humanitarian funding and urgent needs of refugees. To date, UNHCR's 2018 appeal for $98.8 million USD to support refugees in Rwanda is only 2 per cent funded. 

WFP warns about potential larger ration cuts if monthly requirements of $2.5 million are not met...'

This was her tipping point. Hearing this has demanded action from her.

I know she had her 'spiel' written to take to her principal today at school...not sure when she did that!

I look forward to seeing what God has in store for all of this ... 

Flowers for Mom

Found the following on my phone. 

Taken by Beni

'Because you love flowers mom!'

Love my boy

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow flowers

He was SO proud he got the ant!

Just a nice purple one, Mom... 

This is My Life..

Here sits Miss Isabella... homemade oatmeal mask and Judy Blume. 

She says it makes her face smoother than the avocado one... 

She's TEN!!

My Leader Girl...

Here sits my girl .... writing out ways that her school could better live out their motto... 

'Not to be served, but to serve.'

She has already won head girl of her class - Primary 5 Faith ... and she's been selected to run for Head Primary Girl. 

Her speech is tomorrow. 

Through her heart runs lots of passion, justice and a desire to make this world a better place. I often wonder where her road will lead. I then pray and ask God to give Serge and I much guidance as we parent her. 

Win or lose tomorrow ... May this process continue to spur her on to meeting the needs of those around her - and bringing others alongside to do the same. 

Buying #$%&

There are things that happen in life that you can't believe you're actually doing. 

Yesterday was one such instance. 

I paid to have %*&# hauled into my garden. 

PAID for #*%@ - kaka, manure, cow poop - whatever you want to call it!!!!

(I grew up on a dairy farm so... it is what it is people!)

It hit me as I paid $20 for seven wheelbarrows of the stuff brought in, that as a farm girl, I never dreamed I'd need to pay for it one day. 

Beni keeping up with Sigisi

Next it's the planting. 

Hope it's good cow poop!

I love my Daughter's Heart

Last Friday Isabella asked me if I knew when the Primary Principal of their school's birthday was. 

I told her that I didn't and wondered why. 

'Well, Mommy, I don't think anyone has ever celebrated her birthday before and I think we should.' 

I promised that I would do my best to find out when her birthday was and low and behold, it was yesterday. Isabella was more than thrilled that she could put her little plan into action immediately. She gathered her little gaggle of friends at school on Monday and they had a plan - cards, gifts if possible and 'Mom, can you make a cake?!' 

Needless to say the little 8 year old girls planned a grand surprise and Teacher Jeremiah was 'mightily delighted'. 

What I love... that she was concerned about someone else (51 years older than her!) and knew that she had the 'power' to do something about it and believed she could make something happen. I'm praying she lives the rest of her life knowing and believing she can make a difference in someones life. 

The Rest of the Wedding - Part Two

Then comes the church, photos, reception, dinner, and the Gutwikurura (the part where the bride is officially moved into her new home .... and I headed back to the hotel with the kids to watch some football - they were done and so was I!)

The groom comes to pick the bride at home
and they drink milk before heading to church

The bridesmaids ...

Prince and Isabella

Jovie and Gogo making me look good
(Jovie is Serge's youngest sister)

Our kids love hanging with their aunties and uncles

The wedding cake ... didn't do this one!

All on the shores of Lake Kivu. SO beautiful...

Gift giving time - the extended Kamari Family giving gifts

Cheers to a beautiful day.

The rest of the wedding... Part One

Thought I'd post the rest of the wedding from the other weekend... first the Dowry

After a bunch of talking... ie. the grooms family asking for Juju for
one of their men, and our side deciding whether or not their
family was good enough... Juju came out to greet her husband
to be.

The girls who accompanied her

Beni had ENOUGH!!

Receiving her engagement ring

Exchanging gifts

Isabella was one of the four girls.. about died when she walked
out wearing the biggest sunglasses she owns!

Gifts for each mom

Time for drinks ... and it's almost over!

Beni turned 5!!

Last Monday! 

Can't believe my non-stop, sweet, fun loving, momma kissing and hugging boy is 5! 

We celebrated with two parties ... 

The first one was with his football buddies from the neighbourhood.

Anticipating treats

Cupcakes with gumballs!

Beni was so happy and grateful. Made my heart most proud.

Second Party ... a friend and two cousins

Dinner time

Alan, Mugabo and Beni

Cake time!

Weekend in Gisenyi...

Late Wednesday afternoon we headed for Gisenyi, border town with Goma, DRC for some chill time and a dowry / wedding. Seems that's the only reason we get to Gisenyi much to our chagrin...

On a side note... as we're leaving Kigali, I get a message on my phone from a team leader bringing a team out this summer. She first came to Rwanda about 5 years ago as an intern and has brought teams back almost every summer since. This summer is no exception. She is writing to say though that a pastor is pulling three from her team because of information he is reading on the internet about Rwanda - particularly the border of Gisenyi / Goma.

I tell her that we're headed there at that moment and if there were anything to fear, we would know about it as Serge has TONNES of family in Gisenyi and Goma. Yes, there were some Congolese soldiers that crossed the border a few weeks ago to steal some cows and that wasn't taken lightly... but seriously.

She is more than frustrated... and it's annoying for us. When 'incidents' happen, countries need to use certain language on their travel advisories and websites. It can be very frustrating as it does not reflect for the most part what the reality is. Everything that happens in Rwanda is taken as 'an incident' ... if everything in USA or Canada or any other developed country was reported like it is here ... just saying! 

I asked if we could write or talk to whoever. Still waiting to hear if they are open to talking. 

We always knows that God has His way of working but I also wonder about quenching what God is doing by being crippled by fear. I need to trust that the pastor is acting out of genuine ignorance and not his fear of the unknown - especially a part of the world that is not known to him personally.

Anyway... here are some pics to entice you to come and visit... and we'd do our best to get you to Gisenyi. A wedding may or may not be included! 

Beni's first selfie...

Off for our first morning walk down the beach

Playing badminton for the first time with the kids.
Beni can't say 'badminton' if his life depended on it...

Liberation Day photo... Goma, DRC, Serge's
homeland in the background

Watching the waves roll in...

A mother and daughter selfie...

Best big brother in the world!
Playing Barbie with his young sister!

Isabella FINALLY learned to swim in this pool! YEAH!!

Catching some sun and nap

Father and son

View of Lake Kivu from our balcony. Could never tire of it.

My Son...

... doing what he loves.

Parents Day at School

Our kids go to WellSpring Academy. 

It is supported by the WellSpring Foundation which is Canadian. They work hard to train the teachers to have integrated classrooms where various teaching styles are used - not just lecturing which is the most common here in Rwanda. 

Monday and yesterday provided Serge and I with the opportunity to visit their classrooms for a few hours. Here's a little glimpse! 

Each kid did a presentation in either math, English,
reading or science. Isabella... the introduction to everything. 

Was hilarious to watch her ... typical bored kid -
sprawling in the chair, leaning on the desk, messing
with her hair, etc. etc. :-)

The school has beautiful grounds

Prince in a discussion group on the impact on the projected
population growth in Rwanda.

Demonstrating various aspects of Adobe ... next up,
basic web design.

We got their mid term reports too. Always keen to see exactly how they're doing and see how the rest of the class is doing as well. 

The school has just been accredited with the Cambridge system so that has brought some new and exciting changes to the school - challenging ones for sure, but good. Onward with an international education!